{Internal} Feminist Study

I went to Mount Saint Vincent, a notably feminist institution, and always found myself defending men for not being inherently woman-hating narcissists.

Yesterday, I was discussing womanhood with my lovely friend Rebecca. We were talking about how confusing speaking about all of those invisible ideologies are. About how limiting language is when it comes to gender. Also: How strange is it that many a lady, to prove she is strong, adopts male values.

I certainly rejected many a thing womanly or girly and considered myself a tomboy in order to be a strong woman. But then it took me a long post-adolescent time to get comfortable with all the facets of being a lady, and knowing when something was a false security or part of my idenity and when I was actually avoiding intamacy. Even know, though I am a powerhouse of a gal, parts of my own 'gender' identity is sometimes hard. I still find it often impossible to know when I need help or when to ask for it, because I was always terrified of becoming a parasitic or weak woman.

I like Charolotte Perkins Gilman, but does that make me a douche to lady-kind?

"When man began to feed and defend woman, she ceased proportionately to feed and defend herself. When he stood between her and her physical environment, she ceased proportionately to feel the influence of that environment and respond to it. When he became her immediate and all-important environment, she began proportionately to respond to this new influence, and to be modified accordingly. In a free state, speed was of as great advantage to the female as to the male, both in enabling her to catch prey and in preventing her from being caught by enemies; but, in her new condition, speed was a disadvantage. She was not allowed to do the catching, and it profited her to be caught by her new master. Free creatures, getting their own food and maintaining their own lives, develope an active capacity for attaining their ends. Parasitic creatures, whose living is obtained by exertions of others, develop powers of absorption and of tenacity,–the powers by which they profit most. The human female was cut off from the direct action of natural selection, that mighty force which heretofore had acted on male and female alike with inexorable and beneficial effect, developing strength, developing skill, developing endurance, developing courage,–in a word, developing species. She now met the influence of natural selection acting indirectly through the male, and developing, of course, the faculties required to secure and obtain a hold on him. Needless to state that these faculties were those of sex-attraction, the one power that has made him cheerfully maintain, in what luxury he could, the being in whom he delighted. For many, many centuries she had no other hold, no other assurance of being fed. The young girl had a prospective value, and was maintained for what should follow; but the old woman, in more primitive times, had but a poor hold on life. She who could best please her lord was the favorite slave or favorite wife, and she obtained the best economic conditions."

And, for a lil' case and point-

“Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.”-Paris Hilton

{Though, as an example on Social Darwinism and the relationship between woman & economics, Paris Hilton probably won't breed for aesthetic reasons but was born and socialized rich, and is a corporation of herself and though she isn't the best example in someways, she is an exemplar in oh-so-many unfortunate ways.}

I remember as a young young lady, playing with anouther little girl named Kate who was helping me build something out of twigs (which was rare, because she didn't much like getting dirty and we were not very close). She was helping me break sticks and twigs, but when the boy that she and I both liked--Jeremy-- came around, she pretended she couldn't break them anymore and got him to help her after attesting her distress. He gladly helped, and certainly felt useful for it and thought she was cute. She was pretty and blonde and dainty (and actually quite a nice gal) but she made me think it was important to reject lots of things that might categorize me as "Woman" if I were to be thought of as self-sufficient or respectable to myself.

The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.

- Virginia Woolf

Womanhood is not synonymous being weak, incapable or a parasite...

I am against things with the attached value of being 'feminine' which I find impractically cosmopolitan and/or dainty.

I just don't identify myself that way.

And I know plenty of fellas who are dainty or cosmopolitan or squeemish who are straight and gay. Those things I rejected along with being a girl, don't fit into some neat box labeled "all things lady."

I am just me

Clearly a woman and happily part o' the big confusing world's family. Why do we feel the need to prove one way or anouther? I am always trying to pick apart what it is that makes me act a certain way and debating what whole or halves were socialized by my context and the surrounding ideologies.

The older I get, the more I identify with mothers as the ultimate symbol o' lady.

They can be full of sass (though perhaps not-so-much in front of their wee ones) but are the ultimate show of strength, multitasking, nurture, stamina & badassery. But they have to ask for help sometimes. And I also know plenty of beautiful non-mothers who are all of the above.

I am notably potty mouthed, sexual and uncensored. But is that unladylike?

I check out ladies all the time, often aloud, and make comments on the majesty and prowess of their physique. I am strong enough to lift things up to 300lbs, and weigh 200lbs myself. But is that unwomanly? I love wearing and looking at skirts ( I think a fella in a dress is sassy too), am surprisingly virtuous, I do --infact-- have a vagina and bosoms, and think that women are champions to be revered.

My whole life I idolized the older, elegant and proper ladies who helped make me, me- Aunt Effie, Grandma, Grandlone & Aunt Maim. I always aimed to somehow eventually be like them-Full of dignity, poised, respectable and approachable. Lately I have been debating re-claiming high heels for the strong lady... and because they are sexy and a challenge and an homage to those older ladies in my life. But... could I run away from a predator in that shat? Is that me trying to capitalize on the sexual powers of my gender or re-claim womanhood for myself? Or would it be fraudulent? Or would they just be shoes...

The whole tale here, is just to draw attention to the fact that we are often just ourselves with a whole pile o' context and socialized wonderment that makes us further define ourselves. Men and women are quite clearly not enemies or opposites. If you think so, you have siphoned yourself into a crippling box where you can perpetuate your own myth and ostracize that and/or those which will invigorate and ease you. I have lived in large groups of just women, and large groups of just men, and they are an important phemenon to observe. They make the social and cultural worth of the balance and beauty we awaken in each other when we are together is priceless and enriching and makes us all better creatures. Aside from simply needing each other to reproduce, we are meant to have and hold each other. And trying to frame the glory of who we are within the restrictions of language, context or polarizing definitions is bunk. But worth perpetually taking a peek at because it shapes who we are and what we make of others.

I'm still figuring it out. I am sure you are too.

Is that necessary?______________________________________________________

Is it "rash, extreme anti-American rhetoric” that could damage the trading relationship."'to have a debate in Canada about whether family planning and sex education in developing countries is consequential to the health of mothers?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stephen Harper should pay heed to the voice of women and women's rights.