Education Inflation

 

Found c/o Ben Caplan

They call us the Education Province.

Perhaps we should take responsibility for shaping thinkers of the future

and be more mindful of how we give away the keys to the gates o' priviledge in western society.

Or perhaps... turn 'em back into keys for best meeting the future

Eh?

Lessons from Love Songs

 King's Call Theory

I have a song called king's call

which I wrote while overcoming my grand love of

Kyle T. McKenna

who is still, in my eyes,

one of the most beautiful human beings to walk the earth

while overlooking a lake in Tamagami full of forever-monogomous loons

and thinking fondly and perplexed of

my affections for amazing & exceptional Brian Sandiland

-----

King's Call

Far from my soul I realize

I have sinned

To keep you for myself would make me a bad friend

But I want you to know

You make your own home

To my sides I see the men

who could do anything

But they won't heed the command

or chase their destiny.

But be yee not afraid

your yer own master

and your own

slave

Secret of soul I devise

to set you free

You may not know what I am

Just be glad I'm me

But I can be with no man

who won't be a king when he can

this king's call is for you

this kings call is for you

So I will go my own way

and you can't follow

I will go my own way

and be not afraid

for this is my place

Secret of souls we devise

to set us free

and help unbind the lies

which define our everythings

for I can be with no man

who won't take his thrown

or help his own

hands

this kings call is for you

this king's call is for you

But be yee not afraid

for we are all god: Made.

You will go your way

and I may follow

You will go your way

and be not afraid

for this is your place

This king's call is for you

this kings call is for you.

--------

It is one of my favorite songs, to date

and tells the tale

of being picky.

Needing someone who's own path would not be erased by me having a path

who did not look to me for direction

who's wings I did not clip

who can take responsibility for their actions in or out of relationships

who will be their best whenever they can

who will perpetually work on themselves

and be better for knowing me whether I am 'round or not

and vice versa

who is ready to

create their own reality

Only then, would I not mind co-creating with them

And, about the pain of letting go of a man I knew full well was a King

and one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen

but that I was keeping from his majesty

about how I wanna protect my heart

after true love, how

I need to find my own way

and to be true to myself:

Be a Queen.

The theory being that if you

Be who you want to be

and who you want

and then what you need

will come to you

But it must be something they own

and both partners must know themselves

I wrote this from an incredibly faithful and loyal place

I could not think past Real Love

and though others churned new parts of my mind

and touched my heart

I was holding out for something special

as special

 as a bewildered youngster, new to singledom

I was emotionally unavailable

And now, with the help of a lovely fellow who I hold forever dear--Brent-- I am understand the mechanics of my mind more

Who I am in a relationship.

Not thinking babies and kids marriage

but partnership. and mutual betterment

(though I still will only mate with those whose children I would have)

I left the door ajar, whereas I used to wholly close the door

to things unserious

aka that which paled in comparison

to what I remembered of what grew in a 6 year relationship.

Now I am finding calm in those things fleeting and forever

and I know now I withhold from giving all that I could give

and

I hold many expectations

I think I have learned to own what is my mind, my own insecurities

understand someone elses

and am figuring out the balance of productivity,

Getting rid of those self-defeating myths and ideas about love:

those things in my life which I think Love jinxes.

"I cannot write music when I am in love"

"I am distracted and less productive when I am in love"

I admire Brent so much.

and his path of perpetual improvment

and the fires he sets in my mind

And had I written a prescription for myself and my heart a few months ago

He has filled it.

Because I think love is forever.

All varieties of love.

I am often freely fond of even strangers

and I tend to keep and love those friends I make forevermore

and those that aren't, are not forever more for a reason:

So why would lovers be any different?

If what they say is "nothing is forever," then what makes love the exception? So why are we so in denial when we know we're not happy here?"

I still haven't quite figured it out.

But my love songs help.

Milieu means

Milieu

\mēl-ˈyə(r), -ˈyü, -ˈyœ; ˈmēl-ˌyü\

plural milieus or mi·lieux\-ˈyə(r)(z), -ˈyüz, -ˈyœ(z); -ˌyü(z)\

: the physical or social setting in which something occurs or develops

and a few months ago I wrote a song called 

Milieu for Brent Hiscock and those things fleetingly forever

---------

I have been a lone wolf for some time

For a time

But now tire of no one

Knowing my body or my

Mind

I have been suspicious of those

who

Thought I was a find

But I can share a moment with you

for we are of the same kind

Well lust can be healing

If you know what you do

If I gave you a moment

Would you learn from this milieu

Can we act with love

And give all our care

Can you act in love

Even if it goes no where

Don't let me say

This ain't a thing

I will celebrate your worth because I see you are a king

Even if it's a fling

But Lust can be dirty

If hearts aren't true

If we shared in this moment

Would you promise to be you?

In acts of love

I cannot hide all that I am

In the act of love you can't hide

Though I fear you can

Though you fear you can

So if you touch you'll teach me

You will shape me not break me

We will just renew/I can only learn from you

In this milieu

(Thank you Thank you Thank you)

------

 

 But, I am still love Kyle and he loves me.

And our tie shall never be broken

but I seem to forever hold him back

yet

 I simply want what is best for him

and even if we shall love each other forever

we are not done learning outside of each other

and not the best pair now.

The door is neither open nor closed, but I cannot let him mourn me.

He does not deserve to mourn.

So I wrote this:

to know

-------

I don't wanna be the reason you can't look at my face

I don't want our love's treasons

to make you feel out of place

'cause I will always love you but I should never need you

we need to know

we stand on our own

Don't make me into that thing

that keeps you up at night

I wish memories of our love

would tuck you in

just right

And I will always love you

but I can never need you

I need to know, I stand on my own

I will never give up on you

I will always believe in you

'cause we are where my heart built its home

but what you thought you lost with me

was not something that ever came from me

oh love

your direction is your own

So, don't mind that our memories

put a smile on my face

and 'cause the tie cannot be broken, 

it's a walk not a chase

And I will always love you

But you should never need me

you need to know

you stand on your own

you need to know

and let me go.

----

And last but not least,

I wrote another song for lovely Brent.

My first song on harp.

(though only one song, I already have many a picture of me with harp)

Upon realizing I had more to give

Brent touched my heart and mind in a way I shall revere forever

and I have never felt before

Like we took out our life lesson books and studied together

I have lots to give.

and I want to be my whole self.

We often debate about whether life is about you creating your reality, and or what is the value of helping others

What are others if you create your own reality?
Its like a choose your own adventure book, so what are the other characters?

So the beginning of this song is spoken from a place I think we both share

(wanting to be called on our shit, being guarded and defensive and stubborn, feeling both meaningfilled and a lil' meaningless)

and the middle is from a place of not quite spreading your wings

and taking credit for everything that comes to you as yours

instead of celebrating your muse

or when you shake hands with fate

and serve all those around you

and perhaps the will of the divine

and the end is the lesson I have learned.

And realizing 

I am no longer afraid of love.

------

I am a coward

in matters of love

I have no tolerance for those who won't move when I shove

but when I seem invunerable

how fragile I am

When I am intolerable, who can tell me I am?

and if I am so strong,

who is strong enough to hold my hand?

+

++

Oh, where has my heart gone?

Can I hear the wind?

And if a fortune falls 

in my favour

is it me?

Was it me?

Is it me?

Was it me?

So, remember

The heart in your mind

It makes sense to be kind

It makes sense to be kind.

And you are my wonder

you pretty lil' thing

and if the fortunes fall 

in my favour

it was we

it was me

it was we.

Remember

the heart in your mind

it makes sense to be kind

It makes sense

It makes sense

to be kind.

+++++

So, don't be a coward

in matters of love

and have the patience to 

unlearn

Unlearn

when push comes to shove

and If I seem invulnerable:
Won;t you take off my shell?
If I am intolerable, please won't you tell?

And if I seem so strong

be strong enough to hold my hand

and remember

remember.

----------------------

I have no name for that one.

But I am happy.

and content.

I am not afraid of love

I have no use of being a coward.

Eek.

Here goes!

I am a Queen

This morning a lovely fellow told me I was like the Queen on a Chess board.

Able to go anywhere and rule the board in her own way

(with little patience for pairing with those who are going nowhere)

but protective of the mildly mobile King

(Those things that move slowly, but are the most meaningful to her and the whole.)

That fellow thought himself a King on a chess board

(A farmer and father and politician)

mildly mobile, but knowing always where he stands

I like this analogy, I cannot deny.

Education Inflation

 

Found c/o Ben Caplan

They call us the Education Province.

Perhaps we should take responsibility for shaping thinkers of the future

and be more mindful of how we give away the keys to the gates o' priviledge in western society.

Or perhaps... turn 'em back into keys for best meeting the future

Eh?

Falling in Love

I wonder if I can anymore.
Falling, that is.

Hmm.

It took me quite some time to fall in love the first time

But, I feel a lil' odd about it.
Its funny that sometimes I feel as though I should be in love.
The opportunity abounds.
and yet
There is something unbalanced about it.
I remember once my sister saying after being in love
she mediated herself into mild content
for she was suspicious of happiness
for she had come to know it eventually came with a price

Worrying about being caged can become its own prison

Just as breaking habits can become a terrible one itself.

I would hate to control someone

or be controlled

I realized some time ago that one of my biggest fears was being or having "An Ol' ball n' chain"
And I worry most about  muting the person I adore. 
I want to enrich not put out someones life fires and plans and desires.


I cannot picture the safe space
where I would be conivinced
love was a good idea.

I shall not have my wings clipped
I feel too rational for it. Can you be adult in mind about love? 
Could it then ever be called falling? Or feel like falling? 
Like that absurd all-consuming flame i remember from adolescence?.

But does this fierce indepedance mean I shall never be known?
Will I protect that intimate part of myself to a fault?
I am glad I am not easy about such things,
but it does make me wonder.
Perhaps I may stumble upon it on my path.
A stumble not a fall.
Equilibrium found?

Hmm.

My heart is a wee bit aflame though.

Conteded in some sort of blessed unrest

a long embrace

a comforting prod.

Let it be known.

I am a coward in matters of love for I have no patience for those who wont move when push comes to shove

But when I am invunerable How fragile I am and when I am intolerable who can tell me I am

and if I am so strong who is strong enough to take my hand?

If I have my own plans.

Then where has my spark gone? Can I hear the wind?

And if fortune falls in my favour, is it me? Is it me? Is it me? Is it me?

Remember: The Heart in Your MInd.

It makes sense to be kind.

It makes sense to be kind.

A Promise for Spring.

Don't let it out they might say

Your work should never look like your play

but I feel I must convey:

I ain't worked a day

I've never worked a day

And I'll pray I'll earn my keep

and that this Autumn is a promise for spring.

I'm sorry they might say

Your passions won't pay

nor will your do goodings

so just make it with what we have made

to keep the darkness at bay

just tuck your gift away

But I want to play

and put my best parts in the game

So you'll pray I'll earn my keep

but tomorrow it is

oh yes, tomorrow is

not yesterday

Tomorrow is not yesterday.

So I'll let it out and I will say:

My passion will pay. Just know your do goodings

and make it with what you are made

To lead nightmares astray

Don't let your dreams slip at way

And you'll pray I'll earn my keep

But autumn is but a promise for spring

Plug Into Design

Can Design Change The World?

Design Can Save the World

>4Days<

>Broken City Lab<

>We Cannot Not Change The World<

>Dreamnow<

I am a NERD

I have always self-identified as a Nerd.

My computer science pal Devin told me I was a Geek not a nerd, 

because I am too social apt.

And am obsessed with everything, not one thing

and therefore, though intelligent, am barely any of the above.

But I don't even like the word geek, it has so much cacophony and is so abrupt

I am round like the word nerd.

And, I am socially strange... perhaps not inept.

I shall stick with Nerd.

An Expression of our Shared Knowledge

" But I don`t believe in hope without endeavour.``

**this is not an entry which necessarily makes sense**

.` 

 I realized I want to be an Expression of Shared Knowledge.

Is that possible?

No.

But I am pumped to try.

"The process of seeking equilibrium is what makes our life and society possible."

John Raulston Saul

"Why do we have trouble embracing our own genius? Our own Humanism? ...We would rather the illusion of certainty."

I am so optimistic.

And I am wary that people often think me happy because I am ignorant.

Or because I do not care to think of the unpleasantries.

but often, what others find unpleasant I do not

and what I know is hard or uncomfortable is a learning experience

because nothing is non momentous about life

nothing that does not move.
To me, nothing is meaningless.

My happiness would ebb less, were that the case.
And in being happy, I am not inert. I am in want of betterment.

"Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor. " ~Dr. Alexis Carrel

Grow some moss

Were I a statue of contentedness.

I want to cultivate gardens before I grow moss.
I do not want to be inert. I don't believe in meaninglessness. Not moving. Not influencing.

I think one of the most meaningful decisions you can make is to try to not move. Not influence. Not claim your ability to respond. yOur responsibilities.

But, if everything is meaningfilled... And I don't believe it possible to fathom the complexities of life...

Should I be paralyzed because I do not understand? Even if I am in want of doing what my gut seems to know I need to do?

Should I get lost in the 'wilderness of opinion' (Wapola Sri Rahula "What the Buddha taught")

for fear of moving

and the perpetual consequences

What is the role of an actor in the world?

In society?
To ourselves?

``What passes for common sense becomes a panicked, determined obsessiveness. Anyone who looks up or around is marketed as irresponsible or a romantic... There is no need to treat common sense as a parody of itself. Better to embrace its natural complexity"

Saul speaks of not thinking of knowing in the same way we think of understanding.

 

(Plan: Bee was a great example of life as a social being. Collaborative. Messy. Not understanding what would happen but knowing that I trusted in it and the process itself. So complex, so many contributions and opinions so hard to manage so easy to appreciate and so joyous in its execution. The most natural acting of my life in many ways)

The role of an actor:

Someone who acts in the world.

As an actor, cares about the opinions and lives and accumulated actions of others.

Who plays with those on stage to create a plot

And knows what they care about themselves first?

If I think I see the scaffold, should I measure it out and hire some builders?
Boss people around?

Goodness, that is not me.
I fear being manipulated or mislead so much, that I would hate to ever mislead someone away from what they might truly want for themselves
And I work the least when I am told what to do precisely
and feel my agency is encroached upon wholly
and best with a messy scaffold wherein I can create.
I am not a boss.
Good gracious.
Whenever I have been called a leader? It is only because I often can recognize how and where other people are leading


often subtly and beautifully
and believing them to be better at a task than I might be
I do not trust myself as a grand director,
I take my direction from all directions
but I do trust myself as an appreciator
and am a great appreciator of novelty, and the unique and am perpetually amazed by how unmundane all things are. And by the glory of every single person and thing.
If anything, I want people to reframe people as actors. Redefine definitions.

"A definition is intended to clarify things, to free us for action... a definition can just as easily become a means of control, a profoundly reactionary force, a crutch for certainty and ideology."

People have painted themselves into little boxes, and denied themselves to their neighbours and vice versa. With fears of skeletons in their closets, they are too ashamed to call the exterminators.
I wish people understood themselves as social capitol. As meaningful actors on the grand stages of life.
armed specifically and beautifully to execute their delicious paths of action

But (now that I have digressed, again) :

Do I mind my flighty mind?

Could I wholly mind my flighty mind?
Only when it keeps me from acting. Or thwarts my attempts to be responsible and conscientious.
Or hurts those around me with my negligence
But the struggle itself keeps me on my toes

My creative and curious parts?

I cannot anymore, because they are my greatest gift

Do I mind my happiness?
Sometimes, I fear it makes me insensitive--to others and to my own self.
I worry I am unfeeling because I feel so content
but it is a blessing always
(in fact, I feel quite like an arse when I complain about my happiness)


 So why mute myself?


The messiness and my blurring of lines?

My optimism?
My romanticism?
This is how I see.

This is my arsenal of knowledge.
My acting style
My personal Reality
I combine me with what I think everyone might want
for the world
and what might be best for all
Who and what is on the stage

and then act.
I gave up my life to become who I am today. Was it worth it?

Certainly.

How could I mourn my own existence if I know it a blessing?
Because there have been times when I have mourned life
And thought better of it.
 

"“I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with”

Do I enjoy being distracted by things in the same manner as Plato?

Should I paint a blurry canvas and let the lovely things come out? In the same colours as my grandest dreams?

Borrow from the knowledge which surrounds me? Be distracted by that which draws me in to learn from it?

Goodness yes.

``The Curious thing is that no one can name a single manager or administrator of the Renaissance. Yet there were lots of them... Yet we can all name Picasso. And  not because the artists are celebrities. In general they are far less in the public eye than a well-paid CEO.
...It seems that memory does work. It retains what is central and filters our what is tertiary or marginal. Leonardo (da Vinci) remains because he is an expression of our shared knowledge. The manager does not. He has a role but remains marginal to society`s sense of itself, even to the manager`s own sense of himself...``

you cannot deny your calling

if you know, you know

I never want to feel like a manager.

I often think of this Henry Ford quote, when I think of all things leaderly:
"The question, 'Who ought to be boss?' is like asking, 'Who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?' Obviously, the man who can sing tenor."
I have been okay with lending direction, with 'leading' or bossing
because I don't erase myself or other people in doing it
I suppose, that means I am okay it it
even if I am uncomfortable with it as a prospect.
But, as I said earlier: Discomfort is the best sign of learning.

And I am terrified of Ideology

and fear feeling as though I know, as though I am done looking.
As though I am grown up.

“Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.”-Kahil Gibran

I want to be an expression of shared identity, shared knowledge

I don`t mean that I want to be remembered, or da Vinci for that matter

I want to help be

that blur which makes us us

I want to help popularize common sense.
``If understanding is impossible, than knowing is imperative``(Primo Levi)

and be cozy in not understanding

But in want of knowing

and allowing myself to know the things I do know.

Bring my private voice to the public sphere.

`What I am suggesting is the essentially non-linear nature of common sense. You might say that it is the witness of society`s existence.`

To know I am not hiding. At let others know they need not hide

or fear being seen

“Be content to seem what you really are”
Marcus Aurelius

I think the greatest sin of them all, is to try to hide.
For in hiding what you think is your worst you will often hide your best
and if your worst remains in hiding
then you cannot make the best of it
and if you only think you hide it
and it is obvious to all those around you
you are a fool.
who will never feel comforted in knowing they are truly known.

An amorous hedonist

wary of formalizing and yet always craving structure and sense

cheezy often

user of semiotics

analogy

legend

fable

therefore a mutt of pasts and presents and all neighbours of her existence

furiously borrowing from everyone around her and everything around her

trying to cite her sources

wary of her own untruths

and curious about yours
all collects as many blurred lines as possible
to try to reassemble The Grand Mosaic

who outsources to be sure
"Is this what it looks like?"

but will never hide her opinion

and cannot tell you where the voice inside her comes from except to say 

"me"

and you and you and you

 and you and you and you

A person who seeks personal serenity

By helping people be better people

by being themselves

by making this a better place.

Not inert.

Not understanding

Not paralyzed

No expert

But knowing she wants better.

and that she loves it.
And those around her.
And the place she is lucky enough to call home
Her grounds for exploration and limits and boundlessness

perpetual serendipity and symmetry

That doesn't sound bad to me at all.

But, if it sounds bad to yee I would love to know.
'Cause I need you to be better and build better.
Humans are social creatures.
And beautiful ones at that.

Time has Told me

 I quote this song perpetually in the direction of my heart as of late.

  So, I thought I should share what I think is a love song for friends, which I may well often sing in your direction. I often quote it to a man who is that catalyst of my mind.

Soul with no footprint

Who lets me leave the ways of making me be

what I really don`t want to be

and leave the ways which might make me love

what I really don`t want to love.

I am now going to sleep. My question mark is broken.
------------------------------------------------------

Time has told me
You're a rare rare find
A troubled cure
For a troubled mind.

And time has told me
Not to ask for more
Someday our ocean
Will find its shore.

So I`ll leave the ways that are making me be
What I really don't want to be
Leave the ways that are making me love
What I really don't want to love.

Time has told me
You came with the dawn
A soul with no footprint
A rose with no thorn.

Your tears they tell me
There's really no way
Of ending your troubles
With things you can say.

And time will tell you
To stay by my side
To keep on trying
'til there's no more to hide.

So leave the ways that are making you be
What you really don't want to be
Leave the ways that are making you love
What you really don't want to love.

Time has told me
You're a rare rare find
A troubled cure
For a troubled mind.

And time has told me
Not to ask for more
For some day our ocean
Will find its shore.
-----------------------------------